Saturday, February 12, 2011
Tough questions
I wonder do we really know what it is that we want in life. After the economy collapsed in 2008 I had my hours cut at work and money was tight. I hoped for a new and vigorous economy and a renewal of overtime. While times were slow working sometimes 4 days a week and only 8 hours a day something I had never done before at least not for more than a week at a time I found new interests. Maybe new interests isn't quite right what I really found was the time to do the things I wanted. I exercised more, read more, found time to go hiking with my wife, found more time for family it was good. Now we are back to normal at work six days a week 10-12 hours a day. I got what wished for but I don't think I really knew what I wanted.
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I understand your dilemma here, I think. A few years back, my wife was working nights, I just had a promotion at work and was eating breakfast, lunch and dinner at my desk at least three nights a week, putting in long hours every day, occasionally popping in on the weekend. We hardly ever saw each other. When we were home, we were usually stressed and exhausted and just stared at the tv or ate take-out or whatever. And I got really, really sick of that pretty fast-- not the life I'd always dreamed of, not the idealism I had still tucked away somewhere. So I tried to quit my job. Instead, my boss talked me into staying but restructuring so that I was getting out at a decent hour. I stopped micro-managing. My wife got days hours, so we saw each other more. I took a "Voluntary Simplicity" study group course. We started cooking real meals and eating together. Canceled cable, got rid of my cell phone, started taking time to meditate, to sit and talk, to do things we wanted to do. Somewhere in there, our son was born, and we have enjoyed the extra time, the slow down. Still busy, still sometimes stressed, but consciously saying "no" to the things that in the end just don't satisfy. I have no desire to live in poverty, but I can do with a little less money, a little less stuff, if I can have the much more satisfying life that I really, truly always wanted. It's a tough balance.
ReplyDeleteYes I think it is balance that I truly seek. Easy to see but not always easy to obtain.
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